The Husbands Purpose

I am working my way through Ephesians 5:22-33 in my personal study time and I recently came across a commentary on the husbands responsibility as the head of the wife. This commentary is a comment that has challenged me and brought me to my knees and I want to pass it on to you. May it serve as a new challenge or a timely reminder in your life and marriage.


"The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called is not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife, but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."

- Edmund Clowney, The Church

It is easy to read over this statement and not allow it to soak in, but to do so would be foolish! Go back, read it again. Did you do it? Yes, it may take reading this statement two or three times before you even begin to grasp its significance, but, husband, this is your number one calling. You must make sure you get it right! Typically I do not like to break down man's statements, but this statement so closely mirrors that of scripture that it is helpful to understand it so that we can understand what God is calling us to be and do.


Let's take the first part of the statement: The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called...
Men, what does it mean to love sacrificially? This is your calling. Ephesians 5:25 states it this way... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. What did Christ give for us? Simply put, Everything. Philippians 2:5-11 is a great portrait of Christ's love towards us. That passage reminds us that Christ emptied himself. He was God,.. yet he did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. I do not think most of us live in a way which shows that we grasp this truth! If we did we would live differently. Men, what do you treasure the most outside of your family? Whatever it is you must be willing to give it up for your wife day after day. You are to treat her as Christ treated us, irregardless of how she treats you!


The statement continues...not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife,...
You, as a husband, are responsible for caring for your wife. The marriage relationship is one of order and God has ordained the man to be head over the woman. Not because man is better, but because man has been given more responsibility and accountability for the relationship. This speaks nothing to the significance of man or woman. It only speaks to whom has what responsibilities. It is easy to forget, in the daily grind your chief responsibility. Ask yourself: Are you caring for your wife or are you more interested in your own pursuits?


And finally...but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."
Simply put, Ephesians 5: 25ff teaches that the husband is charged (commanded) to withhold nothing to advance his wife's growth in radiant holiness (Christ-likeness). A husband who is most concerned with advancing and promoting his wife's holiness (Christ-likeness) is one who is most closely obeying the commands of God. Yes, you read that correctly, husband, you have a responsibility in your wife's Christ-likeness. How you lead your family determines to a large degree your wife's ability to grow in Christ-likeness. Your job is to present your wife before Christ as a radiant bride, one who resembles the Lord Himself. Indeed this is a heavy responsibility. We are told to not enter into marriage hastily. Consider the job requirements. They are demanding. Make sure that you are up for the task. You will be held accountable, not for your wife's personal sins, but for how you led your family. It is a great responsibility and a great privilege.