Life is busy! Every where you turn there is something or someone asking for your time. Whether it involves the kids, the church, your job or your friends someone is there to take up every precious moment you have in your twenty-four hour day. If it were not for FAST food some of us may starve due to the time demands we place ourselves under. It is not news that we live at a frighteningly furious pace.
While there are many advantages to operating in a fast paced society there are also many potential hazards awaiting those who do not stop to smell the roses. In this article I want to remind you of the importance of saying "NO", and give you two tools which will help you in your efforts. After all, your family could be at stake.
We have all heard the sobering statistics on divorce. Nearly half of all marriages that begin this year will end in divorce. Putting it another way, if you attend four weddings this year you can expect two of them to end in divorce! What is the cause of such bleak news? How can we stop this epidemic? While it is clear that there are a myriad of issues which surround each divorce it is also clear that one of the most deadly forces upon marriage today is simply that we have forsaken time with our spouse / family for time with everything else.
It is unbelievably easy to allow this to occur. Before we even realize what we have done we have over-scheduled ourselves and left little to no time for the ones we love the most. It is a natural thing to do this. We feel safest with those we love the most, and while that is a good thing, it can be detrimental when it comes time to making split second decisions. Decisions such as, “Do I take on the extra job to impress my boss or do I leave the weekend free to relax with my wife and kids?” Or what about when the phone rings and Suzy Q. is on the other end asking you to volunteer at XYZ ministry? You rationalize… “It is such a neat place and they are doing such good work. It would only be one night each week. It can’t be that bad!” All of us have been there and all of us have taken on tasks we know we should have said no too!
It is easy to diagnose the problem, but breaking free is another thing. How can you learn to guard your time and protect your most precious asset- your family. While there is no secret formula there are a couple of boundaries you can put into place.
1. Learn to say “NO!!!”
Some of the best advice I have ever received came from the Dean of Students at
For some saying “no” is easier than for others. Get to know yourself, if you have difficulty saying “no”, make a conscious effort to develop this godly discipline in your life. There are more than enough ministries, activities and people who can abuse your time if you allow it. However, none of those things are worth loosing your family or even upsetting them.
2. Create a scheduling committee.
This may sound hokey to you, but trust me, it works. I had a professor in college who had his wife, a secretary, and another colleague approve all of his outside speaking engagements. Before he could say yes to any outside engagement it had to be approved, not by his employer, but by his self-appointed scheduling committee. You may be saying, isn’t that a bit of overkill for someone like me? Most likely it is not if you have read this far! Try it out and see if it does not create greater intimacy and community with those you love the most. Before you accept another ministry position, extra assignment at work or youth league coaching position put together a scheduling committee. I recommend having your spouse, a trusted friend, and your age appropriate children on it. Unless all agree that this is an assignment which will be for the benefit of the family goals you should politely refrain from taking on another assignment.
Often we become so enthralled with good things that we squeeze out the most precious things in our life. If you find yourself with this tendency I encourage you to implement these two boundaries in your life.
