I have spent several years working with adolescents. From being a youth pastor to a professional counselor who devotes much of his practice to youth, adolescents have been a significant part of my professional work. I even have a degree in youth ministry (adolescent education). Recently I was reflecting on what it takes to help teens navigate through the challenges of adolescents. There are many keys, but I have come to believe that outside of a relationship with Christ the most vital key to an adolescents success depends on his friends. Certainly a relationship with Christ is vital, and loving, supportive parents are tremendously important, but as I reflected on all of the teens I have worked with it is the company they keep which seems to determine their ability to navigate adolescents unscathed. The teen can have supportive parents, profess a relationship with Christ, but if they choose the wrong companions the teenage years can be wrought with trouble. This is because teens are at a stage in life where peer acceptance is at a climax. They are seeking to become independent and in that desire they will break from their parents values and ideals and go with the values and ideals their friends espouse.
Knowing this there are two important steps I want to highlight that parents can take to help ensure their child does not succumb to the pressures of adolescents. One, make your home a place where teens want to be. This does not mean you have to have every latest gadget, but when your child's friends are in your home create an environment that is welcoming and pressure free. Give them the freedom to enjoy themselves while you watch from a safe distance. A child who feels like his parents are getting into his business will not bring his friends around. Teens do not want to hear their parents voice every time they have a friend over. Be sensitive to your requests and corrections in front of your child's friends. If they are embarrassed you can be sure you will not be seeing much of your child's friends and your child will do everything they can to stay away as well. You must be involved in their lives, but give them the space to figure out who they are. This is a delicate balance, but one that is vital for helping your teen through adolescents.
Two, Pray! Whether you have a teen now or the teenage years are several years away you can begin now by praying. James reminds us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). The challenges that teens are facing today are enormous. I am amazed at the changes in culture in just the time I have been out of high school. It is startling and scary! Prayer is the parents most effective tool in combating the challenges of the teenage years and whether your child is in the midst of these years or is several years away begin now by seeking the face of God.
If you want additional help and resources in helping your teen navigate adolescents call Reeves to schedule an appointment. 843.662.2021, ext 1.
F. Reeves Cannon, III. M.A., LPC, BCPCC
- Reeves Cannon
- Florence, SC, United States
- Reeves Cannon is a board certified Professional Counselor (LPC). He graduated with honors from Dallas Theological Seminary with a Master of Arts degree in Biblical Counseling. Reeves received his undergraduate degree from Columbia International University in Youth Ministry. He is a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and a board certified Professional Christian counselor with the International Board of Christian Counselors (BCPCC). Reeves is a certified administrator of PREPARE-ENRICH, a pre-marital and marriage assessment tool for counselors and clergy. Prepare/Enrich is the most widely used premarital counseling tool in the United States today. Reeves also travels around the southeast as a seminar speaker for Walk Thru the Bible Ministries. The subject of personality, relationships, and team building are the focus of those seminars. Reeves is the Director of Counseling at the church at Sandhurst in Florence, SC. The purpose of the counseling center is to provide Biblically centered professional counsel to individuals, couples and families in Florence and the surrounding area so that God may be glorified and lives transformed.