I have started a new video BLOG. It will not replace this BLOG, but the Video BLOG is going to be my primary means of communicating so check it out and mark it as a favorite in your favorites section.
Click here for the new VIDEO BLOG
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
A Great Opportunity for your Local Church
I have been teaching seminars for Walk Thru the Bible for almost two years. I teach three different seminars for them, but by far my favorite is the one I teach on marriage and personality. It is called "Understanding the Love of Your Life". It really is a fantastic seminar. Check out this 5 minute info video on the seminar and email me if you would like to talk to me about bringing this to your church.
Click Here for the Video
Click Here for the Video
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Time Standing Still?
It was not the way I had envisioned my weekend starting- especially this weekend. I had things to do- namely demolish a kitchen so it could be ready for the workers who would restore it later that week. There was a backsplash to chisel out, kitchen counters to remove, and cabinets to repaint. All of these activities were to be accomplished with precision as time was not on my side.
As I left the office Friday afternoon to set out on my weekend full of work I felt a small twinge in my throat and was already feeling a little sore even though I had not yet lifted one cabinet or appliance. “This can’t be.” I thought to myself. “There is work to be done. I cannot get sick.” Thankfully, I was able to plow through Friday night finishing all of the priming of the cabinets, but when I woke up Saturday morning I knew that something had to give- either me or the work that was left to be done. My temperature was 103 and I felt like I had been through a ten round cage match. No way did I feel like demolishing a kitchen!
With a deadline to meet I was determined to stay on schedule. I went to work knocking a few tiles off the backsplash and then laying on the couch for an extended time of rest. It was a slow, rough go of it, but in the end I was able to accomplish what had to be done for the work that was scheduled the following week. No, I did not accomplish everything I wanted to get done, but what had to get done was done. However, it was not just getting the work done that made the weekend a success. In the midst of the rest, work and more rest I was reminded of a valuable lesson-
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
Proverbs 16:9
Yes, it took me a couple more weekends to get everything finished in my kitchen, but God had a plan and it was accomplished in his time. The question for all of us is this: What are you trying to accomplish in your life and are you attempting to forge ahead of God’s plan or are you allowing him to lead and direct your path? Yes, be faithful to do the necessary work, but trust God to accomplish the results in his time.
As I left the office Friday afternoon to set out on my weekend full of work I felt a small twinge in my throat and was already feeling a little sore even though I had not yet lifted one cabinet or appliance. “This can’t be.” I thought to myself. “There is work to be done. I cannot get sick.” Thankfully, I was able to plow through Friday night finishing all of the priming of the cabinets, but when I woke up Saturday morning I knew that something had to give- either me or the work that was left to be done. My temperature was 103 and I felt like I had been through a ten round cage match. No way did I feel like demolishing a kitchen!
With a deadline to meet I was determined to stay on schedule. I went to work knocking a few tiles off the backsplash and then laying on the couch for an extended time of rest. It was a slow, rough go of it, but in the end I was able to accomplish what had to be done for the work that was scheduled the following week. No, I did not accomplish everything I wanted to get done, but what had to get done was done. However, it was not just getting the work done that made the weekend a success. In the midst of the rest, work and more rest I was reminded of a valuable lesson-
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."
Proverbs 16:9
Yes, it took me a couple more weekends to get everything finished in my kitchen, but God had a plan and it was accomplished in his time. The question for all of us is this: What are you trying to accomplish in your life and are you attempting to forge ahead of God’s plan or are you allowing him to lead and direct your path? Yes, be faithful to do the necessary work, but trust God to accomplish the results in his time.
Monday, March 08, 2010
A Night Without the Family
It was a night most Dads with two young, busy children would relish- a night at home to do whatever I wanted without interruption. As circumstances would have it I found myself with a wife who was working the night shift at the hospital and my two children, due to an early morning appointment I had, spending the night with Mimi and Pop.
So with a free night to burn I did what many Dads would do- I sought to relieve some stress! My way of relieving stress comes in the form of getting my hands dirty and tackling projects I have no business tackling. The particular project in my crosshairs this night- repainting the kitchen cabinets. Now even a novice, as I am, knew that this would not be a one night project, but I figured I could make great headway with no kids and the house to myself. And Yes, I did have permission from Rebecca before starting the project- a necessary first step in any project. A painful lesson I have learned the hard way. So I set out to start my project and I must admit it went quite well. I cleaned, caulked, filled in screw holes, sanded, de-glossed and was even able to apply the primer to the bottom cabinets. It was truly a nice nights’ work.
As I started cleaning up the mess I had made I noticed a strange sound- it was the sound of silence. Yes, it was 11:30 PM, and the goal every night in the Cannon household is silence at that time, but this particular night it was deafening. I did not like it! I had been able to work for several hours and not notice the loud scream of silence, but as I prepared to go to sleep myself I was suddenly reminded that no one- not my son, daughter, or wife were there with me. It was in that quiet moment that I was reminded of this verse- Psalm 127-3-5:
"Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates."
A few minutes later another verse popped into my mind- Proverbs 18:22:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”
So often I run through life unaware of the blessing that my wife and children are to me. I appreciate them, but do I truly show them how much I value and love them? The silence of a night alone taught me that I can do a better job. What about you? Do you find yourself taking for granted your family?
So with a free night to burn I did what many Dads would do- I sought to relieve some stress! My way of relieving stress comes in the form of getting my hands dirty and tackling projects I have no business tackling. The particular project in my crosshairs this night- repainting the kitchen cabinets. Now even a novice, as I am, knew that this would not be a one night project, but I figured I could make great headway with no kids and the house to myself. And Yes, I did have permission from Rebecca before starting the project- a necessary first step in any project. A painful lesson I have learned the hard way. So I set out to start my project and I must admit it went quite well. I cleaned, caulked, filled in screw holes, sanded, de-glossed and was even able to apply the primer to the bottom cabinets. It was truly a nice nights’ work.
As I started cleaning up the mess I had made I noticed a strange sound- it was the sound of silence. Yes, it was 11:30 PM, and the goal every night in the Cannon household is silence at that time, but this particular night it was deafening. I did not like it! I had been able to work for several hours and not notice the loud scream of silence, but as I prepared to go to sleep myself I was suddenly reminded that no one- not my son, daughter, or wife were there with me. It was in that quiet moment that I was reminded of this verse- Psalm 127-3-5:
"Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates."
A few minutes later another verse popped into my mind- Proverbs 18:22:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the LORD.”
So often I run through life unaware of the blessing that my wife and children are to me. I appreciate them, but do I truly show them how much I value and love them? The silence of a night alone taught me that I can do a better job. What about you? Do you find yourself taking for granted your family?
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
Do you brush your teeth or hair first?
Tallon came running into my bedroom this morning as he does every morning- way to early- and said in his patented voice, “It’s time to get up, Daddy, I’m hungry.” After a few minutes of prodding and begging we mustered our way down stairs to eat some eggs and oatmeal- a combination only a four year old would want. On our way back up the stairs I informed Tallon that we needed to make a stop in the bathroom to comb his hair, which had decided to have a party on his scalp during the night, and brush the oatmeal and egg breath out of his mouth. He grabbed his spider man “noisy” toothbrush (noisy means electric in four year old talk) and I grabbed the hair brush. As I went to comb his hair he immediately stopped me and said, “Wait Daddy, I can’t do both at the same time.” Little did he know that that statement would keep me thinking the rest of the day…
You see, he was intent on fixing his inward problem- bad breath, and I was intent on fixing his outward problem- party hair. As I started thinking about what he said a question popped into my mind- am I more interested in covering up the flaws people see me exhibit or am I more intent on fixing my inward flaws- my character? So often we are not concerned about our inward character, but only with what we portray to people- the outward appearance. We may think, “As long as I come across in a positive way I am OK even if on the inside I am wasting away.” The only problem with this perspective is that it is hypocritical. Jesus spoke to this when he referenced the Pharisees. He said in Matthew 23:27 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” I came to the conclusion that I don’t want to be like a whitewashed coffin. If I want to change and grow as a person- husband, father, worker, Christian, friend, etc.-I need to work from the inside out. After all true, lasting change starts from the inside out!
What about you? Are you brushing your hair and ignoring your smelly breath? You may look pretty from a distance, but when people get close they are going to realize you stink!
You see, he was intent on fixing his inward problem- bad breath, and I was intent on fixing his outward problem- party hair. As I started thinking about what he said a question popped into my mind- am I more interested in covering up the flaws people see me exhibit or am I more intent on fixing my inward flaws- my character? So often we are not concerned about our inward character, but only with what we portray to people- the outward appearance. We may think, “As long as I come across in a positive way I am OK even if on the inside I am wasting away.” The only problem with this perspective is that it is hypocritical. Jesus spoke to this when he referenced the Pharisees. He said in Matthew 23:27 "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” I came to the conclusion that I don’t want to be like a whitewashed coffin. If I want to change and grow as a person- husband, father, worker, Christian, friend, etc.-I need to work from the inside out. After all true, lasting change starts from the inside out!
What about you? Are you brushing your hair and ignoring your smelly breath? You may look pretty from a distance, but when people get close they are going to realize you stink!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Understanding The Love of Your Life-- Coming to First Baptist Florence
BLOG Readers:
I have exciting news! We are just about 6 weeks away from a great couples event at First Baptist Church in Florence. September 11th and 12th I will be speaking at their annual couples conference. I will teaching on relationships and personality. The conference is called "Understanding the Love of Your Life and it is an excellent conference that will give you and your mate lots of tools to help with your own marriage or serious dating relationship. Contact me to sign-up (or the church directly) and also check out the promo video for the conference. It is really cool!!!!!!! Click here for the video.
I have exciting news! We are just about 6 weeks away from a great couples event at First Baptist Church in Florence. September 11th and 12th I will be speaking at their annual couples conference. I will teaching on relationships and personality. The conference is called "Understanding the Love of Your Life and it is an excellent conference that will give you and your mate lots of tools to help with your own marriage or serious dating relationship. Contact me to sign-up (or the church directly) and also check out the promo video for the conference. It is really cool!!!!!!! Click here for the video.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Still Feel Like Giving Up on Marriage?
By Gary Chapman.
Adapted from Desperate Marriages by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Whatever you do, don't give up on your marriage.
I know that if you are in a deeply troubled marriage, you may feel that you only have two options: stay in the marriage and be miserable, or divorce and hope for something better. There is a third alternative. Try the power of unconditional love. Few people can resist love when it is expressed in the right language.
Should you stay in a marriage for the sake of the children?
When parents divorce, typically children feel intensely rejected. Children get angry at their parents for violating the basic rule of parenthood. Parents are supposed to make sacrifices for children, not the other way around. Because we are creatures of memory and relationships, we carry the pain of broken relationships for a lifetime.
After the divorce, most parents plan to continue good relationships with their children, but parent-child relationships are forever altered by divorce. As adults they often fear that their own marriage will not survive. And in fact, the divorce rate for "children of divorce" is higher than for those whose parents stay together. So, do your children a favor and continue to work on your marriage.
Does divorce seem like the best alternative to you? If so, I hope you'll think again. Divorce, unlike death, does not end the partners' contact with each other. Most end up living in the same city, especially if children are involved. And your disagreements about how to raise children will continue.
Nor is divorce a pretty picture financially. Research indicates that 73 percent of divorced women experience a decline in standard of living. One wife said, "Our marriage was bad, but our divorce is even worse. I still have all the responsibilities I had when we were married, but now I have less time and less money." The effects of divorce linger for a lifetime. So do yourself a favor call a counselor, read a book, or reach out to a pastor. Your marriage is worth it.
Adapted from Desperate Marriages by Dr. Gary Chapman. To find out more about Dr. Chapman's resources, visit www.fivelovelanguages.com.
Whatever you do, don't give up on your marriage.
I know that if you are in a deeply troubled marriage, you may feel that you only have two options: stay in the marriage and be miserable, or divorce and hope for something better. There is a third alternative. Try the power of unconditional love. Few people can resist love when it is expressed in the right language.
Should you stay in a marriage for the sake of the children?
When parents divorce, typically children feel intensely rejected. Children get angry at their parents for violating the basic rule of parenthood. Parents are supposed to make sacrifices for children, not the other way around. Because we are creatures of memory and relationships, we carry the pain of broken relationships for a lifetime.
After the divorce, most parents plan to continue good relationships with their children, but parent-child relationships are forever altered by divorce. As adults they often fear that their own marriage will not survive. And in fact, the divorce rate for "children of divorce" is higher than for those whose parents stay together. So, do your children a favor and continue to work on your marriage.
Does divorce seem like the best alternative to you? If so, I hope you'll think again. Divorce, unlike death, does not end the partners' contact with each other. Most end up living in the same city, especially if children are involved. And your disagreements about how to raise children will continue.
Nor is divorce a pretty picture financially. Research indicates that 73 percent of divorced women experience a decline in standard of living. One wife said, "Our marriage was bad, but our divorce is even worse. I still have all the responsibilities I had when we were married, but now I have less time and less money." The effects of divorce linger for a lifetime. So do yourself a favor call a counselor, read a book, or reach out to a pastor. Your marriage is worth it.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
Protecting Your Marriage
Ten Tips for Protecting Your Cross-Cultural Marriage
Despite the stressors and disappointments in your cross-cultural marriage, if you desire God's gifts for your marriage, He promises you a more excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). As you and your spouse attend to the following ten tips, I am convinced that you will see each other and your marriage the way God sees it – a vessel of honor:
1. Prioritize your spiritual identity as a Christ follower over your cultural identity.
2. Prioritize understanding over judging.
3. Do not minimize what your spouse maximizes. (If your spouse thinks it is important, it is!)
4. Everything important to you should be explained to your spouse rather than assumed.
5. Honor and value your spouse's parents and extended family.
6. Negotiate boundaries with your extended families that are acceptable to each of you. (Caution: In a healthy marriage, parental loyalty should never exceed spousal loyalty.)
7. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. (Grace asks that you assume the best of your spouse rather than the worst.)
8. Embrace your identity as a cross-cultural person. (Value the fact that you represent the fusion of two cultures that enhances your perspective.)
9. Integrate elements of your respective cultures in your daily living (e.g. food, language).
10. Pray daily for the wisdom, grace and patience necessary to treat your spouse with trust and respect.
Copyright © 2008, Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.
Despite the stressors and disappointments in your cross-cultural marriage, if you desire God's gifts for your marriage, He promises you a more excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). As you and your spouse attend to the following ten tips, I am convinced that you will see each other and your marriage the way God sees it – a vessel of honor:
1. Prioritize your spiritual identity as a Christ follower over your cultural identity.
2. Prioritize understanding over judging.
3. Do not minimize what your spouse maximizes. (If your spouse thinks it is important, it is!)
4. Everything important to you should be explained to your spouse rather than assumed.
5. Honor and value your spouse's parents and extended family.
6. Negotiate boundaries with your extended families that are acceptable to each of you. (Caution: In a healthy marriage, parental loyalty should never exceed spousal loyalty.)
7. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. (Grace asks that you assume the best of your spouse rather than the worst.)
8. Embrace your identity as a cross-cultural person. (Value the fact that you represent the fusion of two cultures that enhances your perspective.)
9. Integrate elements of your respective cultures in your daily living (e.g. food, language).
10. Pray daily for the wisdom, grace and patience necessary to treat your spouse with trust and respect.
Copyright © 2008, Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
When It's Hard to Forgive
Nancy Leigh DeMoss
Do you have a situation where forgiveness seems impossible? Perhaps you're thinking, "I just can't forgive this person for what he's done to me. It's too painful to deal with. He's done it too many times. He's hurt me too deeply."
But the power—and the beauty—of the transformed Christian life is that "it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13 NKJV). It will never be the depth of your love that causes you to forgive such heartless acts and attitudes.
It will never be within your power to overlook the wicked lies and wild justifications of those who have made you distrustful of just about everybody. It will be—it can only be—the love of Christ transplanted into your believing heart that can exchange your weakness for His strength.
God's Love—and Lorna's
Several years ago, I met a dear woman named Lorna Wilkinson, whose husband had brought a great deal of discord and mistrust into their marriage. He was an alcoholic, and his condition had worsened over the years, bringing with it all the turmoil that tends to accompany substance abuse: financial pressure, irresponsibility, the chaos of never being able to depend on him, never knowing if he'd be where he said he would.
Finally Lorna decided that she had been through enough. She came to the conclusion that divorce was the only way out, the best way she knew to salvage what remained of her life.
So she took the step. She filed all the paperwork, asked him to leave, and prepared to move on.
She was not yet a believer. But providentially, right at that critical juncture in her life, she "happened" to tune in to a "Revive Our Hearts" radio program, when I was teaching about forgiveness. Her heart was gripped as she learned of the incredible forgiveness God offers through Christ, the way He deals with our sin by perfectly releasing us, thus enabling us to extend the same kind of forgiveness to others.
Day after day, this needy woman continued to listen to the broadcast, her thirsty heart drinking in the truth of the Word. Within a short period of time, her eyes had been opened and she was brought to faith in Christ.
But her divorce was still moving forward ... until the day her phone rang. It was her husband, saying he was sick.
"At the time, I was still frustrated and angry to some degree," she admits. "I said, 'Why are you calling me? Why don't you call 911?'"
He did. Just in time. Her husband was having a heart attack.
Extended family began to gather at the hospital, not sure if he was going to make it. Part of her wanted to be done with him, but somewhere in the depths of her heart, the Lord seemed to be saying, "Go whisper in your husband's ear that he doesn't have to worry about a place to live. Tell him he can come home."
That day, amid a tangle of tubes and wires and other life-saving devices, Lorna gave her husband the most revitalizing gift of all: the gift of forgiveness.
By God's grace, he did recover. He came home. He was a changed man. Miraculously, he no longer had the urge to smoke or drink. He landed a full-time job and began working faithfully to provide for his family. Newfound love entered their home, a desire to pray and worship, a focus on lasting priorities. There were flowers, postcards, candlelit dinners. Everything.
Early in the process of restoration, there were moments when those old feelings would flood back in Lorna's heart. "Lord, I can't do this," she would cry out in prayer. "I cannot love him the way You intended me to love. But I am asking You, Lord, to give me Your love, to just let it flow through me to this man."
And God's love slowly began to melt the awful memories. One by one, she began entering into each of those descriptive phrases in 1 Corinthians 13—"Love is patient and kind ... does not insist on its own way ... rejoices with the truth ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
As God's love began to fill their home, Lorna and her husband started to experience the kind of marriage she had always dreamed of but had given up hope of ever having. In fact, four months after they were reconciled, Lorna's husband woke her early one morning to say, "I now know that a man should love his wife the way God has loved us. I want to tell you, Lorna, at this moment, I love you that way."
These were the last words she would ever hear from his lips.
Within hours, a second massive heart attack took him home to be with the Lord. Imagine where Lorna and her children might be today if she had chosen the logical way, the natural way, the vengeful way—the bitter path of unforgiveness.
Imagine the lives that would still be in shambles, the regrets that would have lingered for a lifetime.
"Do not give up on your marriage," she urged the listeners in an interview. "Do not give up on your spouse. Take it to the Lord in prayer and always remember: What you are not able to do for yourself, He will do it for you and in you."
Resulting Peace
Certainly, not every marriage is remedied the way Lorna's was, even by forgiveness. But even when you can't see the results—though the situation may not clear up entirely or get any better at all—you can still know that you've done what God has required of you. You can continue to forgive as His grace and love flow through you. And you can walk in peace—His peace.
Adapted from Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom. By Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Published by Moody Publishers, Chicago, Ill. Copyright © 2006 by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used with permission.
Do you have a situation where forgiveness seems impossible? Perhaps you're thinking, "I just can't forgive this person for what he's done to me. It's too painful to deal with. He's done it too many times. He's hurt me too deeply."
But the power—and the beauty—of the transformed Christian life is that "it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13 NKJV). It will never be the depth of your love that causes you to forgive such heartless acts and attitudes.
It will never be within your power to overlook the wicked lies and wild justifications of those who have made you distrustful of just about everybody. It will be—it can only be—the love of Christ transplanted into your believing heart that can exchange your weakness for His strength.
God's Love—and Lorna's
Several years ago, I met a dear woman named Lorna Wilkinson, whose husband had brought a great deal of discord and mistrust into their marriage. He was an alcoholic, and his condition had worsened over the years, bringing with it all the turmoil that tends to accompany substance abuse: financial pressure, irresponsibility, the chaos of never being able to depend on him, never knowing if he'd be where he said he would.
Finally Lorna decided that she had been through enough. She came to the conclusion that divorce was the only way out, the best way she knew to salvage what remained of her life.
So she took the step. She filed all the paperwork, asked him to leave, and prepared to move on.
She was not yet a believer. But providentially, right at that critical juncture in her life, she "happened" to tune in to a "Revive Our Hearts" radio program, when I was teaching about forgiveness. Her heart was gripped as she learned of the incredible forgiveness God offers through Christ, the way He deals with our sin by perfectly releasing us, thus enabling us to extend the same kind of forgiveness to others.
Day after day, this needy woman continued to listen to the broadcast, her thirsty heart drinking in the truth of the Word. Within a short period of time, her eyes had been opened and she was brought to faith in Christ.
But her divorce was still moving forward ... until the day her phone rang. It was her husband, saying he was sick.
"At the time, I was still frustrated and angry to some degree," she admits. "I said, 'Why are you calling me? Why don't you call 911?'"
He did. Just in time. Her husband was having a heart attack.
Extended family began to gather at the hospital, not sure if he was going to make it. Part of her wanted to be done with him, but somewhere in the depths of her heart, the Lord seemed to be saying, "Go whisper in your husband's ear that he doesn't have to worry about a place to live. Tell him he can come home."
That day, amid a tangle of tubes and wires and other life-saving devices, Lorna gave her husband the most revitalizing gift of all: the gift of forgiveness.
By God's grace, he did recover. He came home. He was a changed man. Miraculously, he no longer had the urge to smoke or drink. He landed a full-time job and began working faithfully to provide for his family. Newfound love entered their home, a desire to pray and worship, a focus on lasting priorities. There were flowers, postcards, candlelit dinners. Everything.
Early in the process of restoration, there were moments when those old feelings would flood back in Lorna's heart. "Lord, I can't do this," she would cry out in prayer. "I cannot love him the way You intended me to love. But I am asking You, Lord, to give me Your love, to just let it flow through me to this man."
And God's love slowly began to melt the awful memories. One by one, she began entering into each of those descriptive phrases in 1 Corinthians 13—"Love is patient and kind ... does not insist on its own way ... rejoices with the truth ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
As God's love began to fill their home, Lorna and her husband started to experience the kind of marriage she had always dreamed of but had given up hope of ever having. In fact, four months after they were reconciled, Lorna's husband woke her early one morning to say, "I now know that a man should love his wife the way God has loved us. I want to tell you, Lorna, at this moment, I love you that way."
These were the last words she would ever hear from his lips.
Within hours, a second massive heart attack took him home to be with the Lord. Imagine where Lorna and her children might be today if she had chosen the logical way, the natural way, the vengeful way—the bitter path of unforgiveness.
Imagine the lives that would still be in shambles, the regrets that would have lingered for a lifetime.
"Do not give up on your marriage," she urged the listeners in an interview. "Do not give up on your spouse. Take it to the Lord in prayer and always remember: What you are not able to do for yourself, He will do it for you and in you."
Resulting Peace
Certainly, not every marriage is remedied the way Lorna's was, even by forgiveness. But even when you can't see the results—though the situation may not clear up entirely or get any better at all—you can still know that you've done what God has required of you. You can continue to forgive as His grace and love flow through you. And you can walk in peace—His peace.
Adapted from Choosing Forgiveness: Your Journey to Freedom. By Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Published by Moody Publishers, Chicago, Ill. Copyright © 2006 by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Used with permission.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
A New Years Day Tradition
One of the best ideas I have ever heard came a few years ago via a radio program I was listening too. The speaker was discussing leaving a Godly legacy for your children and he mentioned that each new years day he sits down to write a hand written letter to each of his children. I thought this was a novel idea and so I began doing the same every January 1. It has been a few years now since I have started and each year I have compiled letters to my son and wife. They are personal letters recalling the events of the past year, truths I want to impart to my son, and special memories I want remembered. each letter is unique and personal. The letters are kept in a safe deposit box and they will be opened after I die. It is one way that I can leave a legacy to my children and wife, let them know how much I love them and give them an opportunity to recall life events we shared together- things my son will not even recall at his young age. This year I have the privilege of writing an additional letter- to my daughter.
This has proven to be a special time for me each new years day and it is something I highly recommend for each father or mother out there. Take some time and write a hand-written note to your children and wife- it is not too late to start. It will be a rich experience and one additional way you can pass on a Godly legacy.
This has proven to be a special time for me each new years day and it is something I highly recommend for each father or mother out there. Take some time and write a hand-written note to your children and wife- it is not too late to start. It will be a rich experience and one additional way you can pass on a Godly legacy.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Moving at Break Neck Speed
When I take a moment to stop, however, and look at what consumes my life it gets even more discouraging. It seems that in my pursuit to keep up I have busied myself with insignificant pursuits. I have made decisions with my time without regard to what God has called me to do and be about. Putting it all together it makes no sense. I am running at break neck speed to pursue things that will not last- often to the detriment of more eternal pursuits. 1 Corinthians
As I have reflected on this truth I have been challenged to assess the activity of my life compared to what I know the purpose of my life to be. I have some priorities that need to be changed- do you?
Friday, November 07, 2008
Friends- They Key to Adolescent Success?
I have spent several years working with adolescents. From being a youth pastor to a professional counselor who devotes much of his practice to youth, adolescents have been a significant part of my professional work. I even have a degree in youth ministry (adolescent education). Recently I was reflecting on what it takes to help teens navigate through the challenges of adolescents. There are many keys, but I have come to believe that outside of a relationship with Christ the most vital key to an adolescents success depends on his friends. Certainly a relationship with Christ is vital, and loving, supportive parents are tremendously important, but as I reflected on all of the teens I have worked with it is the company they keep which seems to determine their ability to navigate adolescents unscathed. The teen can have supportive parents, profess a relationship with Christ, but if they choose the wrong companions the teenage years can be wrought with trouble. This is because teens are at a stage in life where peer acceptance is at a climax. They are seeking to become independent and in that desire they will break from their parents values and ideals and go with the values and ideals their friends espouse.
Knowing this there are two important steps I want to highlight that parents can take to help ensure their child does not succumb to the pressures of adolescents. One, make your home a place where teens want to be. This does not mean you have to have every latest gadget, but when your child's friends are in your home create an environment that is welcoming and pressure free. Give them the freedom to enjoy themselves while you watch from a safe distance. A child who feels like his parents are getting into his business will not bring his friends around. Teens do not want to hear their parents voice every time they have a friend over. Be sensitive to your requests and corrections in front of your child's friends. If they are embarrassed you can be sure you will not be seeing much of your child's friends and your child will do everything they can to stay away as well. You must be involved in their lives, but give them the space to figure out who they are. This is a delicate balance, but one that is vital for helping your teen through adolescents.
Two, Pray! Whether you have a teen now or the teenage years are several years away you can begin now by praying. James reminds us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). The challenges that teens are facing today are enormous. I am amazed at the changes in culture in just the time I have been out of high school. It is startling and scary! Prayer is the parents most effective tool in combating the challenges of the teenage years and whether your child is in the midst of these years or is several years away begin now by seeking the face of God.
If you want additional help and resources in helping your teen navigate adolescents call Reeves to schedule an appointment. 843.662.2021, ext 1.
Knowing this there are two important steps I want to highlight that parents can take to help ensure their child does not succumb to the pressures of adolescents. One, make your home a place where teens want to be. This does not mean you have to have every latest gadget, but when your child's friends are in your home create an environment that is welcoming and pressure free. Give them the freedom to enjoy themselves while you watch from a safe distance. A child who feels like his parents are getting into his business will not bring his friends around. Teens do not want to hear their parents voice every time they have a friend over. Be sensitive to your requests and corrections in front of your child's friends. If they are embarrassed you can be sure you will not be seeing much of your child's friends and your child will do everything they can to stay away as well. You must be involved in their lives, but give them the space to figure out who they are. This is a delicate balance, but one that is vital for helping your teen through adolescents.
Two, Pray! Whether you have a teen now or the teenage years are several years away you can begin now by praying. James reminds us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). The challenges that teens are facing today are enormous. I am amazed at the changes in culture in just the time I have been out of high school. It is startling and scary! Prayer is the parents most effective tool in combating the challenges of the teenage years and whether your child is in the midst of these years or is several years away begin now by seeking the face of God.
If you want additional help and resources in helping your teen navigate adolescents call Reeves to schedule an appointment. 843.662.2021, ext 1.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Two thumbs UP!
My wife and I were able to go see the movie Fireproof this weekend. What a great movie! I was a little concerned that it would be another low budget, "cheesy" movie with the same basic storyline of a troubled marriage being saved. Man, it was so much more! I was challenged, convicted and encouraged. If you are married or thinking about getting married this movie is a must see! It will convict you and inspire you all at the same time.
For those who have seen other movies created and produced by this company, such as Facing the Giants, you know that the acting is not A-list Hollywood. Let me say that the acting in this movie is far and away better than the acting in other movies this company has produced, but this is not a movie that you go too because you want to see an actor or actress perform well. This movie depicts real life, and it will speak to you. Make it a priority this week to set a date with your spouse to see this movie. Your marriage will reap the benefits! If I could think of a more emphatic way to tell you to go see this movie I would! Simply, please, GO!
For those who have seen other movies created and produced by this company, such as Facing the Giants, you know that the acting is not A-list Hollywood. Let me say that the acting in this movie is far and away better than the acting in other movies this company has produced, but this is not a movie that you go too because you want to see an actor or actress perform well. This movie depicts real life, and it will speak to you. Make it a priority this week to set a date with your spouse to see this movie. Your marriage will reap the benefits! If I could think of a more emphatic way to tell you to go see this movie I would! Simply, please, GO!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Understanding the Love of Your Life
Many of you have asked when I am going to do another Marriage seminar in the area. Well, you will not have to wait long. October 24th and 25th at Bay Branch Free Will Baptist Church in Timmonsville, SC I will be teaching again on the subject of personality and marriage. The conference- called Understanding the Love of Your Life (designed by Walk Thru the Bible)- is fun, energetic, and powerful. You will walk away with tremendous insight into your unique personality style and the style of your mate. Armed with this knowledge, and the Biblical understanding Walk Thru the Bible is famous for you will come away with a weekend of significant marital growth. To sign up email me at reeves@sandhurstchristiancounseling.com.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Lessons from a Child
Have you ever had one of those moments? A moment where you are innocently playing or reading with your child when all of a sudden you are taught something only a child can teach you?
My son and I were reading one of his favorite Bible stories- David and Goliath. In the particular children's Bible we were reading from that day, the story ended with a simple question: What did you learn? As I read the answer written on the page I was once again reminded of God's impeccable timing and ability. God knew the message I needed to hear that day and He used a childrens book and my three year old son to teach me. When I sat down to read the story I never thought God had something for me. I mean, while I do not in any way profess to be a Bible scholar, I have been to Bible college and seminary, what can a childrens story teach me about Scripture? Heck, I have even been to the mountain in Israel where David and Goliath fought. Yet it took this childrens book to remind me of a great truth that is vital for all of us?
As I was wrestling with the challenges of the day and week I was reminded, as it was written in bold letters, "No problem is too big for God." What a simple, but profound statement. A statement that was written for a child, yet fitting for adult-size problems- your problems and mine!
All of us have struggles as we navigate this life of depravity, yet we must remind ourselves that "No problem is too big for God." Whether it is a deep Bible study that teaches you this truth or a simple childrens story do not let this truth escape you as you continue the journey!
My son and I were reading one of his favorite Bible stories- David and Goliath. In the particular children's Bible we were reading from that day, the story ended with a simple question: What did you learn? As I read the answer written on the page I was once again reminded of God's impeccable timing and ability. God knew the message I needed to hear that day and He used a childrens book and my three year old son to teach me. When I sat down to read the story I never thought God had something for me. I mean, while I do not in any way profess to be a Bible scholar, I have been to Bible college and seminary, what can a childrens story teach me about Scripture? Heck, I have even been to the mountain in Israel where David and Goliath fought. Yet it took this childrens book to remind me of a great truth that is vital for all of us?
As I was wrestling with the challenges of the day and week I was reminded, as it was written in bold letters, "No problem is too big for God." What a simple, but profound statement. A statement that was written for a child, yet fitting for adult-size problems- your problems and mine!
All of us have struggles as we navigate this life of depravity, yet we must remind ourselves that "No problem is too big for God." Whether it is a deep Bible study that teaches you this truth or a simple childrens story do not let this truth escape you as you continue the journey!
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
An Extraordinary Example
Many of you are familiar with the testimony of Robertson McQuilkin. Dr. McQuilkin is the former president of Columbia International University who resigned his position to care for his ailing wife, Muriel. The last four days Family Life Today has highlighted the testimony of Robertson and Muriel. Whether you know the story well or have never heard it before I encourage you to listen to the broadcast with your spouse. Use it as a catalyst for your own discussion about marriage, commitment and life. It will be a great source of encouragement and intimacy for you and your spouse as you listen to the broadcast. The titles of the broadcast are titled: My Decision Part 1 and Part 2, What God has Done, and Our Future.
Click here to listen
Click here to listen
Friday, August 08, 2008
Being a Dad to Your Daughter
My wife and I were recently strolling through a bookstore when I came across an interesting title from Dennis Rainey- Interviewing Your Daughters Date. It immediately caught my attention as we are expecting our first daughter in December. Yes, maybe you can say I am a little nervous or paranoid, but I remember my thoughts when I was dating (and I was interested in doing it the right way). As the studies show, teenage boys think about sex every seven seconds! Others will remind us that they lie about the other six seconds. When you are the father of a son you have to worry about one boy, when you are the father of a daughter you have to worry about EVERY BOY! There are unique responsibilities to being a father of each sex and one of the responsibilities I, along with each of you dads have, is to guard your daughters heart. My intent in this BLOG is to highlight Interviewing Your Daughters Date so that you will read it and act upon its words of wisdom. I will do this by highlighting a few thoughts that sobered me and reminded me of a not so long ago time when I was dating my wife.
Dennis opens the book with a not so subtle reminder for us Dad's. He writes, "There was a day- it doesn't seem that long ago- when this dating stuff was the furthest thing from her mind, back when her only plans for Saturday night were for us to run barefoot together in the mowed grass, playing freeze tag and catching fireflies. But it turns out I wasn't the only one who would discover how much fun she is to be around. This little girl I took to magical places in bedtime stories and amazed with tooth fairy notes now has other male voices telling her things a girl likes to hear. This is when a dad who's never met a monster he couldn't slay suddenly feels weak and alone."
Talk about a sobering thought! Your cute little "princess" all of a sudden being interested in guys. Ouch! You may be a dad whose daughters are already dating or you may be fifteen or more years away from your daughters first date, but the day is coming, and Dad's we have a responsibility to protect our daughters! In this politically correct age it may not seem right to you that you would "infringe" on your daughter or some young man who wants to date your daughter, but we must. Dennis writes, " Men, the bottom line is this: God made dads to protect their daughters. And one of the ways we can do this is by checking out and qualifying the young men who want to date them."
There are two illustrations in the book which reminded me of this great responsibility- even if it is a difficult and intimidating task to undertake.
The first illustration comes from a man named Steve. Steve, looking at his daughters date asks the young man this question, "Do you know what stewardship is? You see, we don't own Susie and Emily, (his daughters) we (him and his wife) are stewards of them. And by letting you take them on a date we are transferring that stewardship for an evening." What a great biblical picture of our responsibility!
The second illustration come from Dennis himself. Dennis describes putting all of his families important papers in a neat stack on a table- marriage certificate, house deed, diplomas, investment and bank statements, honors and awards, etc. He then writes, "with my hands still resting on that pile of papers, I looked Luke squarely in the eye and said, "Tell me, Luke, what's the most valuable thing on this porch? I'll never forget Luke's face. His eyes were on those papers. Then they began to dart back and forth between that pile, Rebecca, and me. And with a less than confident answer, he said, Rebecca? I affirmed his answer and then went on to share with him that if she was that valuable, then he and I needed to have a little conversation. With that I excused Rebecca."
Now, admittedly, reading of this encounter outside the context of the book you think this guy is a jerk who is just about playing a power trip on any guy brave enough to ask one of his daughters on a date. I can assure, that is not the case. Dennis understands the enormous responsibility we have. He highlights in this short book the great balance between being firm and to the point with showing love and grace to the young man. He states," The interview is never meant to be heavy-handed. It's not about an egotistical dad trying to make a teenage boy feel small. It's a time when a real man reaches out to engage a younger man in a noble conversation about a young lady." Dads, the question still remains for us, are we going to be obedient to the God given responsibility we have to our daughters?
Dennis also talks about the many benefits this type of "manning up" results in. He discusses the great rapport, respect and healthy relationship you develop with the young man who dates your daughter. He also reminds us that this type of fathering results in your daughter feeling respected and loved which encourages her to remain faithful. It is also a great teaching tool for your sons as they watch you (how to be a noble steward of your son is an entirely different discussion, but equally important.)
There are so many other great lessons in this short book, but I want to encourage you to read it for yourself. The bottom line is this: Dad you have a responsibility before the Lord to protect your son and daughter. This is one way you must protect your daughter and you must not let intimidation or politically correct thought deter you from doing what is right-being a noble steward of your daughter!
Dennis opens the book with a not so subtle reminder for us Dad's. He writes, "There was a day- it doesn't seem that long ago- when this dating stuff was the furthest thing from her mind, back when her only plans for Saturday night were for us to run barefoot together in the mowed grass, playing freeze tag and catching fireflies. But it turns out I wasn't the only one who would discover how much fun she is to be around. This little girl I took to magical places in bedtime stories and amazed with tooth fairy notes now has other male voices telling her things a girl likes to hear. This is when a dad who's never met a monster he couldn't slay suddenly feels weak and alone."
Talk about a sobering thought! Your cute little "princess" all of a sudden being interested in guys. Ouch! You may be a dad whose daughters are already dating or you may be fifteen or more years away from your daughters first date, but the day is coming, and Dad's we have a responsibility to protect our daughters! In this politically correct age it may not seem right to you that you would "infringe" on your daughter or some young man who wants to date your daughter, but we must. Dennis writes, " Men, the bottom line is this: God made dads to protect their daughters. And one of the ways we can do this is by checking out and qualifying the young men who want to date them."
There are two illustrations in the book which reminded me of this great responsibility- even if it is a difficult and intimidating task to undertake.
The first illustration comes from a man named Steve. Steve, looking at his daughters date asks the young man this question, "Do you know what stewardship is? You see, we don't own Susie and Emily, (his daughters) we (him and his wife) are stewards of them. And by letting you take them on a date we are transferring that stewardship for an evening." What a great biblical picture of our responsibility!
The second illustration come from Dennis himself. Dennis describes putting all of his families important papers in a neat stack on a table- marriage certificate, house deed, diplomas, investment and bank statements, honors and awards, etc. He then writes, "with my hands still resting on that pile of papers, I looked Luke squarely in the eye and said, "Tell me, Luke, what's the most valuable thing on this porch? I'll never forget Luke's face. His eyes were on those papers. Then they began to dart back and forth between that pile, Rebecca, and me. And with a less than confident answer, he said, Rebecca? I affirmed his answer and then went on to share with him that if she was that valuable, then he and I needed to have a little conversation. With that I excused Rebecca."
Now, admittedly, reading of this encounter outside the context of the book you think this guy is a jerk who is just about playing a power trip on any guy brave enough to ask one of his daughters on a date. I can assure, that is not the case. Dennis understands the enormous responsibility we have. He highlights in this short book the great balance between being firm and to the point with showing love and grace to the young man. He states," The interview is never meant to be heavy-handed. It's not about an egotistical dad trying to make a teenage boy feel small. It's a time when a real man reaches out to engage a younger man in a noble conversation about a young lady." Dads, the question still remains for us, are we going to be obedient to the God given responsibility we have to our daughters?
Dennis also talks about the many benefits this type of "manning up" results in. He discusses the great rapport, respect and healthy relationship you develop with the young man who dates your daughter. He also reminds us that this type of fathering results in your daughter feeling respected and loved which encourages her to remain faithful. It is also a great teaching tool for your sons as they watch you (how to be a noble steward of your son is an entirely different discussion, but equally important.)
There are so many other great lessons in this short book, but I want to encourage you to read it for yourself. The bottom line is this: Dad you have a responsibility before the Lord to protect your son and daughter. This is one way you must protect your daughter and you must not let intimidation or politically correct thought deter you from doing what is right-being a noble steward of your daughter!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Excellent Opportunity to Grow Your Marriage
Greetings!
I have recently had the opportunity to receive training with Walk Thru the Bible. Walk Thru the Bible is an excellent organization whose mission is to contribute to the spiritual growth of Christians worldwide through Bible teaching, tools and training. Walk Thru has been accomplishing this mission for over 30 years!
This is where you come in. I am hosting a "private" Marriage Seminar on September 12th and 13th at the Church at Sandhurst. This seminar is only for those of you who received an email about the event or read about it on my BLOG. It is not available to the general public. As an Associate Instructor with Walk Thru the Bible I am required to host a seminar to a small group before I begin taking this seminar to other churches and community organizations. I am asking for you to attend the seminar to grow your marriage and support me. You will not be disappointed!
The seminar is titled "Understanding the Love of Your Life" and it is designed to give you insight into the intimate details of your own unique marriage relationship and to help blossom a fresh sense of true appreciation for the strengths your mate brings to your marriage. The cost of the seminar is $34.00 per couple. This is a reduced price. I am only covering the cost of your materials in this price. You will receive a conference notebook and refreshments throughout the seminar. Dinner will not be served Friday night. To learn more information about the seminar visit the conference information page by clicking here.
I understand that this is the third week of the college football season. Football fans, you will not miss any action! The seminar will start on Friday at 6:30 PM and end at 9:00 PM. You will return Saturday morning at 9:00 AM and we will wrap the seminar up by 11:45AM- just in time for a 12:00 PM kickoff (Clemson plays NC State at 12:00 PM and Carolina plays Georgia at 3:30)!
Please plan to attend this exciting, fun and growth filled time with your spouse. Childcare is provided at no additional charge. Advanced registration is required for all attendee's so please let me know ASAP if you are planning to attend. Attendance is secured with your payment. You can mail all registration checks to 2112 Gable Ridge Dr. Florence, SC 29501, or give me the check in person. Checks are made payable to Reeves Cannon. To register download the registration sheet attached to this email.
If you have any questions please respond to this email or call me at 843-676-5996.
Looking forward to impacting our marriages together- for the Kingdom of God!
Reeves
I have recently had the opportunity to receive training with Walk Thru the Bible. Walk Thru the Bible is an excellent organization whose mission is to contribute to the spiritual growth of Christians worldwide through Bible teaching, tools and training. Walk Thru has been accomplishing this mission for over 30 years!
This is where you come in. I am hosting a "private" Marriage Seminar on September 12th and 13th at the Church at Sandhurst. This seminar is only for those of you who received an email about the event or read about it on my BLOG. It is not available to the general public. As an Associate Instructor with Walk Thru the Bible I am required to host a seminar to a small group before I begin taking this seminar to other churches and community organizations. I am asking for you to attend the seminar to grow your marriage and support me. You will not be disappointed!
The seminar is titled "Understanding the Love of Your Life" and it is designed to give you insight into the intimate details of your own unique marriage relationship and to help blossom a fresh sense of true appreciation for the strengths your mate brings to your marriage. The cost of the seminar is $34.00 per couple. This is a reduced price. I am only covering the cost of your materials in this price. You will receive a conference notebook and refreshments throughout the seminar. Dinner will not be served Friday night. To learn more information about the seminar visit the conference information page by clicking here.
I understand that this is the third week of the college football season. Football fans, you will not miss any action! The seminar will start on Friday at 6:30 PM and end at 9:00 PM. You will return Saturday morning at 9:00 AM and we will wrap the seminar up by 11:45AM- just in time for a 12:00 PM kickoff (Clemson plays NC State at 12:00 PM and Carolina plays Georgia at 3:30)!
Please plan to attend this exciting, fun and growth filled time with your spouse. Childcare is provided at no additional charge. Advanced registration is required for all attendee's so please let me know ASAP if you are planning to attend. Attendance is secured with your payment. You can mail all registration checks to 2112 Gable Ridge Dr. Florence, SC 29501, or give me the check in person. Checks are made payable to Reeves Cannon. To register download the registration sheet attached to this email.
If you have any questions please respond to this email or call me at 843-676-5996.
Looking forward to impacting our marriages together- for the Kingdom of God!
Reeves
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
The Husbands Purpose
I am working my way through Ephesians 5:22-33 in my personal study time and I recently came across a commentary on the husbands responsibility as the head of the wife. This commentary is a comment that has challenged me and brought me to my knees and I want to pass it on to you. May it serve as a new challenge or a timely reminder in your life and marriage.
"The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called is not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife, but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."
- Edmund Clowney, The Church
It is easy to read over this statement and not allow it to soak in, but to do so would be foolish! Go back, read it again. Did you do it? Yes, it may take reading this statement two or three times before you even begin to grasp its significance, but, husband, this is your number one calling. You must make sure you get it right! Typically I do not like to break down man's statements, but this statement so closely mirrors that of scripture that it is helpful to understand it so that we can understand what God is calling us to be and do.
Let's take the first part of the statement: The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called...
Men, what does it mean to love sacrificially? This is your calling. Ephesians 5:25 states it this way... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. What did Christ give for us? Simply put, Everything. Philippians 2:5-11 is a great portrait of Christ's love towards us. That passage reminds us that Christ emptied himself. He was God,.. yet he did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. I do not think most of us live in a way which shows that we grasp this truth! If we did we would live differently. Men, what do you treasure the most outside of your family? Whatever it is you must be willing to give it up for your wife day after day. You are to treat her as Christ treated us, irregardless of how she treats you!
The statement continues...not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife,...
You, as a husband, are responsible for caring for your wife. The marriage relationship is one of order and God has ordained the man to be head over the woman. Not because man is better, but because man has been given more responsibility and accountability for the relationship. This speaks nothing to the significance of man or woman. It only speaks to whom has what responsibilities. It is easy to forget, in the daily grind your chief responsibility. Ask yourself: Are you caring for your wife or are you more interested in your own pursuits?
And finally...but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."
Simply put, Ephesians 5: 25ff teaches that the husband is charged (commanded) to withhold nothing to advance his wife's growth in radiant holiness (Christ-likeness). A husband who is most concerned with advancing and promoting his wife's holiness (Christ-likeness) is one who is most closely obeying the commands of God. Yes, you read that correctly, husband, you have a responsibility in your wife's Christ-likeness. How you lead your family determines to a large degree your wife's ability to grow in Christ-likeness. Your job is to present your wife before Christ as a radiant bride, one who resembles the Lord Himself. Indeed this is a heavy responsibility. We are told to not enter into marriage hastily. Consider the job requirements. They are demanding. Make sure that you are up for the task. You will be held accountable, not for your wife's personal sins, but for how you led your family. It is a great responsibility and a great privilege.
"The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called is not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife, but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."
- Edmund Clowney, The Church
It is easy to read over this statement and not allow it to soak in, but to do so would be foolish! Go back, read it again. Did you do it? Yes, it may take reading this statement two or three times before you even begin to grasp its significance, but, husband, this is your number one calling. You must make sure you get it right! Typically I do not like to break down man's statements, but this statement so closely mirrors that of scripture that it is helpful to understand it so that we can understand what God is calling us to be and do.
Let's take the first part of the statement: The path of sacrificial love to which a husband is called...
Men, what does it mean to love sacrificially? This is your calling. Ephesians 5:25 states it this way... Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. What did Christ give for us? Simply put, Everything. Philippians 2:5-11 is a great portrait of Christ's love towards us. That passage reminds us that Christ emptied himself. He was God,.. yet he did not consider equality with God something to be grasped. I do not think most of us live in a way which shows that we grasp this truth! If we did we would live differently. Men, what do you treasure the most outside of your family? Whatever it is you must be willing to give it up for your wife day after day. You are to treat her as Christ treated us, irregardless of how she treats you!
The statement continues...not an egalitarian rejection of responsibility for caring for his wife,...
You, as a husband, are responsible for caring for your wife. The marriage relationship is one of order and God has ordained the man to be head over the woman. Not because man is better, but because man has been given more responsibility and accountability for the relationship. This speaks nothing to the significance of man or woman. It only speaks to whom has what responsibilities. It is easy to forget, in the daily grind your chief responsibility. Ask yourself: Are you caring for your wife or are you more interested in your own pursuits?
And finally...but the faithful service of Christ as one charged with withholding nothing to advance her growth in radiant holiness."
Simply put, Ephesians 5: 25ff teaches that the husband is charged (commanded) to withhold nothing to advance his wife's growth in radiant holiness (Christ-likeness). A husband who is most concerned with advancing and promoting his wife's holiness (Christ-likeness) is one who is most closely obeying the commands of God. Yes, you read that correctly, husband, you have a responsibility in your wife's Christ-likeness. How you lead your family determines to a large degree your wife's ability to grow in Christ-likeness. Your job is to present your wife before Christ as a radiant bride, one who resembles the Lord Himself. Indeed this is a heavy responsibility. We are told to not enter into marriage hastily. Consider the job requirements. They are demanding. Make sure that you are up for the task. You will be held accountable, not for your wife's personal sins, but for how you led your family. It is a great responsibility and a great privilege.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Happy Birthday, America!
In this political season and time of financial uncertainty, in some peoples eyes, I encourage all of us to take a moment to remember the sacrifices of those who have gone before us and of those who are serving today. As we celebrate our country's birthday over this weekend let us remember, no matter your political bent that we can be proud to be an American! Check out this video. Click Here
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
