Moving at Break Neck Speed

“We need to slow down!” I hear these words quite often. I am either screaming them to myself or my wife is graciously reminding me that we are on a crash course with burnout and fatigue. Not two foes I have time to meet. Often “survival” becomes the goal of the day. I must confess all too often that is my rallying cry.

When I take a moment to stop, however, and look at what consumes my life it gets even more discouraging. It seems that in my pursuit to keep up I have busied myself with insignificant pursuits. I have made decisions with my time without regard to what God has called me to do and be about. Putting it all together it makes no sense. I am running at break neck speed to pursue things that will not last- often to the detriment of more eternal pursuits. 1 Corinthians 3:13 reminds us that all of our work will be tested by fire. This verse reminds each of us that much of what we do on this earth will not amount to anything but firewood in eternity. As Believers, we must understand that our ultimate purpose in life is to become more like Jesus (I Peter 1:13-16). You can do this as a mom, a doctor, a pastor, or you can choose to ignore this purpose and go about your duties as a mom, pastor, doctor, etc without regard to your purpose.

As I have reflected on this truth I have been challenged to assess the activity of my life compared to what I know the purpose of my life to be. I have some priorities that need to be changed- do you?

Friends- They Key to Adolescent Success?

I have spent several years working with adolescents. From being a youth pastor to a professional counselor who devotes much of his practice to youth, adolescents have been a significant part of my professional work. I even have a degree in youth ministry (adolescent education). Recently I was reflecting on what it takes to help teens navigate through the challenges of adolescents. There are many keys, but I have come to believe that outside of a relationship with Christ the most vital key to an adolescents success depends on his friends. Certainly a relationship with Christ is vital, and loving, supportive parents are tremendously important, but as I reflected on all of the teens I have worked with it is the company they keep which seems to determine their ability to navigate adolescents unscathed. The teen can have supportive parents, profess a relationship with Christ, but if they choose the wrong companions the teenage years can be wrought with trouble. This is because teens are at a stage in life where peer acceptance is at a climax. They are seeking to become independent and in that desire they will break from their parents values and ideals and go with the values and ideals their friends espouse.

Knowing this there are two important steps I want to highlight that parents can take to help ensure their child does not succumb to the pressures of adolescents. One, make your home a place where teens want to be. This does not mean you have to have every latest gadget, but when your child's friends are in your home create an environment that is welcoming and pressure free. Give them the freedom to enjoy themselves while you watch from a safe distance. A child who feels like his parents are getting into his business will not bring his friends around. Teens do not want to hear their parents voice every time they have a friend over. Be sensitive to your requests and corrections in front of your child's friends. If they are embarrassed you can be sure you will not be seeing much of your child's friends and your child will do everything they can to stay away as well. You must be involved in their lives, but give them the space to figure out who they are. This is a delicate balance, but one that is vital for helping your teen through adolescents.

Two, Pray! Whether you have a teen now or the teenage years are several years away you can begin now by praying. James reminds us that the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective (James 5:16). The challenges that teens are facing today are enormous. I am amazed at the changes in culture in just the time I have been out of high school. It is startling and scary! Prayer is the parents most effective tool in combating the challenges of the teenage years and whether your child is in the midst of these years or is several years away begin now by seeking the face of God.

If you want additional help and resources in helping your teen navigate adolescents call Reeves to schedule an appointment. 843.662.2021, ext 1.