Protecting Your Marriage

Ten Tips for Protecting Your Cross-Cultural Marriage

Despite the stressors and disappointments in your cross-cultural marriage, if you desire God's gifts for your marriage, He promises you a more excellent way (1 Corinthians 12:31). As you and your spouse attend to the following ten tips, I am convinced that you will see each other and your marriage the way God sees it – a vessel of honor:

1. Prioritize your spiritual identity as a Christ follower over your cultural identity.
2. Prioritize understanding over judging.
3. Do not minimize what your spouse maximizes. (If your spouse thinks it is important, it is!)
4. Everything important to you should be explained to your spouse rather than assumed.
5. Honor and value your spouse's parents and extended family.
6. Negotiate boundaries with your extended families that are acceptable to each of you. (Caution: In a healthy marriage, parental loyalty should never exceed spousal loyalty.)
7. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. (Grace asks that you assume the best of your spouse rather than the worst.)
8. Embrace your identity as a cross-cultural person. (Value the fact that you represent the fusion of two cultures that enhances your perspective.)
9. Integrate elements of your respective cultures in your daily living (e.g. food, language).
10. Pray daily for the wisdom, grace and patience necessary to treat your spouse with trust and respect.

Copyright © 2008, Dr. Harold L. Arnold, Jr. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.