IS COUNSELING FOR WEIRD PEOPLE ONLY?

While therapy is becoming more accepted in many circles around the country there still remains a large segment of the population which holds the belief that therapy is only for people who are really “messed up or weak”. Comments like, “just trust in the Lord”, or “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” can be well meaning, but they often come from a deep seated belief that you should be able to get through difficult life issues without the help of a trusted counselor. This is simply not true and it is even unbiblical.

It is easy to understand the origins of this type of thinking. After all, Sigmund Freud, the Father of psychoanalysis, was made famous by studying the abnormal. If you have taken even a basic psychology class you have studied the theories of Freud. While therapy has its origins in the works of Sigmund Freud and his cohorts, most counseling today has moved far away from the ideas of Freud. Certainly, Christian counseling is a far cry from anything remotely Freud. You must be on guard that the foundation of psychology which you learned in your basic Psychology 101 classes does not shape your thinking of what Christian counseling is today. Today, it is simply not true that counseling is for weak people.

While each of us must confront the early ideas we learned about counseling psychology, we must also evaluate the merits of seeking wise counsel from a Biblical perspective. Even a cursory look at scripture reminds us of the importance of wise counsel. Scripture is littered with truth about the importance of seeking wise counsel. Two of my favorite verses in this vain are Proverbs 13:10. “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” Proverbs 12:15 states, “The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice.” There are many more verses which show the importance of seeking wise counsel. Scripture certainly does not teach that seeking counsel is only for weak people. In fact, it teaches the opposite. Scripture teaches that seeking counsel is the sign of a wise person.

Often, one of the first things I tell clients, especially those who seem a bit uneasy about being in a COUNSELORS office, is “You are the wise one. You admit that there is an issue in your life which is outside of yourself. You should be proud of the fact that you have recognized this and are seeking counsel.”

If scripture declares seeking counsel as such a wise thing then why are so many people still hesitant to seek out that counsel? While some of the hesitancy may come from fears of reliving the stories of your psychology 101 class, I believe the bigger issue is pride. The Bible calls those who are unwilling to seek counsel fools (Prov. 12:15). Often pride gets in the way, especially when the issue deals directly with something you know you must change. You must ask yourself if you are allowing pride to get in the way of healthy living. Is your pride-refusal to seek wise counsel- getting in the way of your marriage, work or other relationships? Scripture clearly teaches it can. Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”

The challenge you have before you today is to examine your heart before the Lord. Have you allowed your prideful and arrogant heart to get in the way of seeking wise, godly counsel? If you have you must confess that sin before the Lord and you must seek wise counsel. Seeking counsel is not an admission of weakness, but continuing to live as if there are no problems is a characteristic of a fool.

If you need help in understanding how to choose a wise counselor I invite you to read an earlier article titled “What is Christian Counseling and How Do I Know I am Getting Counsel from a Christian? Click here to read the article.